What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
