so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize