Dual....:-)
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
