Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
How does one acquire holy water?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
