She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
