K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
