We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
True strength comes from lack of pants
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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