garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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