The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
We need to get me chipped asap
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
