so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
