did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize