i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize