you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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