I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
