Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I wish you could order shots online.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
