Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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