U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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