I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
