so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
