don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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