so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
