Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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