I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
