I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
