i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
