I think i sorta joined a cult last night
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
