Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
please don't ironically join a cult
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