She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
