He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
