I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
