Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
