So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
