listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
