Bisexual people are plain selfish.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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