I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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