he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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