Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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