After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
soo... how was my night?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
