Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
