That reminds me...we need to get swords
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
