I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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