So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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