you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
So much rum. So many feels.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
