OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
that's an acceptable place to lick
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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