dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
