i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize