i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Ladies don't puke and tell
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
