I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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