Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
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