Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
