Moan for me like Helen Keller
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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