if only i could text you this smell
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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