You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
