If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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