Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
