She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Randomize
