Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
