im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
This is the high leading the old right now
This baby is an asshole
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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